


I Think You Have My Phone

by theicequeenwrites



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Getting Together, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Meet the Family, Meeting the Parents, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Premature Birth, implied depressive episodes, rosa gets good parents in this one, they are so soft for one another, they get married!!, very ooc for the diaz and linetti parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27784645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theicequeenwrites/pseuds/theicequeenwrites
Summary: Gina and Rosa accidentally meet at a party; and when their rendezvous ends, they expect to never see each other again.Until Gina wakes up to the ring of a phone that isn't hers and realizes she took the wrong phone home from the party last night. In an effort to return the phone Gina meets Ma, reacquaints herself with with Rosa and finds herself falling.They met by accident, but chose each other for the future.
Relationships: Gina Linetti & Jake Peralta, Other Minor Relationships, Rosa Diaz & Jake Peralta, Rosa Diaz/Gina Linetti
Comments: 8
Kudos: 38





	1. How They Met

**Author's Note:**

> heyyy y'all welcome to this affectionate dumpster fire. i don't even know if people still read for this pairing so🤪 . i actually really liked writing this story -which was inspired by some random movie my sister made me watch ages ago- and decided to revamp it and post it here. enjoy!!
> 
> the only research I did for this was figuring out when then iPhone three came out so take an inaccuracies with a grain of salt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the adorable dumpster fire. it's inspired vaugely by some random movie my sister made me watch eons ago. 
> 
> the only research i did for this is: when did nike pros come out? and when did the iphone three come out? so be forewarned

**I**

Gina Linetti doesn't do hangovers. She holds her liquor very well and never goes over her limit. She's learned that when you're drinking underage you should never go over your limit, that you're more of a suspect if you look suspicious. But clearly, Gina did not get the memo last night. Her head is currently pounding and there is an obnoxious buzzing coming from somewhere in her room. What it is? Gina can't exactly tell. It has to be a phone because what else does she have that beeps. The only thing is, that noise is not any of the ringtones she has saved on her phone.

Gina takes three encouraging breaths and then forces herself out of bed. She almost falls onto the floor once she's upright due to the sheer force of nausea that hits her. She swallows it back harshly and then stumbles around her room rubbing her eyes and trying to locate the obnoxious beeping. Finally she picks up an iPhone three and is in awe of whose ever phone this is, because it certainly isn't hers. The 3 came out like two weeks ago and was crazy expensive and here Gina was holding one in a matte black case with a slightly scary looking rose drawing on it.

The mission on hand finally hit Gina and she flipped over the phone to look at the screen. The screen picture was a generic mountain range and there were 109 texts from Ma and 61 missed calls. Gina drags her finger across the screen and luckily there's no password. She clicks on the call icon next to Ma's contact and holds the phone to her ear. The series of drawn out rings are deafening but Gina doesn't think to turn it down.

"Ay Dios mios, about time, child. Where are you? Are you alright? You had me worried sick," 'Ma' shouts.

Gina pulls away the phone and puts it on speaker. "Uh, who is this?" she asks, as she examines her self in the mirror. There's a hickey on her shoulder, one on her neck, her hair definitely needs to be washed. 

"Who are you? You aren't my daughter," Ma says, stating the obvious. Gina fights the urge to roll her eyes at whoever's mom this is. 

"Umm I'm Regina. I found this phone in my coat this morning, who are you?"

"I don't know a Regina. But I guess you have my daughter's phone. Now how did that happen? Were you guys drinking at that party last night?"

"I feel like I shouldn't answer that."

"Oh, child. Take a shower, eat some good food- or scratch that come over, return my daughter's phone and I'll cook you up a good hangover cure," Ma says and there's the sound of a pan hitting a stove in the background. Ma really didn't play around when it came to food. She rambles off an address that Gina scrambles to write down on the back of a nail salon business card and then promises she'll show up. She has half a thought she might be murdered or poisoned by showing up at a random person's house, but even that sounds better than laboring through seven classes or dawdling alone at home. 

Gina straggles out of her room and down the hallway into the bathroom she shares with her brother. She showers much longer than she normally would on a school day and then blows her waves out until they fall straight around her shoulders.

She tosses the phone and address into a teal purse she finds on her floor and walks into the kitchen where she finds a note from her mother as she does every other morning. Gina writes a response about not feeling well and staying home before walking out the front door and catching the next bus heading west.

The ride is a little longer than she expected, so she caves and uses some of her data to scroll through Twitter and read some Seventeen articles. Finally she reaches the right stop and starts walking down the sidewalks until she turns into a cute neighborhood with colorful houses and plush grass. She knocks on the house numbered 1497 and then steps back, looking around the porch which has a small swing, bikes, and dolls scattered everywhere.

The door swings open and a petite woman with a toddler on her hip is standing there. "You must be Regina. I'm Julia and this is Lucianna. Come in."

Gina steps into the cozy house and looks around, taking in the terracotta colored walls, rugs, blankets, and tapestries. "You can call me Gina."

"Ah, bienvenidos, Gina. Luci say hi," Ma or Julia, technically, prompts with a small tap to her hip, and the small child waves.

Gina waves and smiles at the girl and continues following Julia to the kitchen. Julia plops Lucianna on the cracking counter and begins poking and flipping something in the pans on the stove. Gina settles at the elongated teal picnic table in the center of the open kitchen.

"So how was the party? Did you enjoy yourself? Were you safe? A pregnancy at your age is serious stuff," Julia says as she scoops various foods onto a pink plastic plate with a faded fairy doodled onto it. She slides it down the table, it stops expertly in front of her, a glass of water and two Advil are placed down in front of her as well. 

Gina blinks rapidly as she remembers the girl she almost hooked up with last night, her riotous curls and soulful eyes, while swallowing the Advil. "It was okay. I was safe."

"That's good. Eat up. I remember partying when I was your age. Of course I was still in Mexico and dating my husband so I didn't have as much freedom as some other girls but there's a certain thrill of being packed together in a room where music is blaring," Julia says with a fond tone, waving her hands around as she rambles. She smiles reminiscently and then pats Lucianna's head.

Gina loves the food, its flavorful and textureful and the best home cooked meal she's had in awhile. But what Julia just said surprises her. "You were born in Mexico?"

"Yes. It's so different from here. I ran away here with Oscar when I found I was with child at nineteen."

"That must have been hard," Gina says sympathetically through a mouth full of eggs with steak bits scrambled into it.

"It was. And then barely three years later I had Rosa, the girl whose phone you had," Julia said, grabbing and slicing a banana for a fussing Luciana.

"Wow, really? Did you go to college?" Gina asks, genuinely curious. Her mother's been harping about college since she was six and this new woman seems not to have gone at all. GIna forgets, sometimes, that there are life paths outside of the one that's always been prescribed for her.

"Puh-lease," Julia says with a hearty laugh. "I worked at Dairy Queen until I had Samuel and then I enrolled him in daycare so I could keep working. Oscar worked part time and went to medical school. He still makes the big bucks for us now."

"That's crazy. Was it hard? Do you just have three kids? What do you do now?" Gina fires off every question that came to her mind. Her own mother never talked to her like this, never told her about life or love or college. Gina was acutely aware she was floundering through life, lacking someone to shove her in the right directions.

Julia laughs and then picks up Lucianna who had begun crying because she dropped her sippy cup. "I work part time at a restaurant when my best friend can watch Lucianna. I have six kids, one boy, five girls, and it was very hard until Oscar started practicing. It was very hard when we started having more kids."

"You have six kids?!" was all Gina manages to say, her eyes nearly popping out of her head.

Julia laughs again. "After Samuel and Rosa we agreed to wait a bit until we were more secure. Then I had another daughter and then another one and one more and I was done with kids but Oscar wanted another son so we had another baby who was a girl but now I can't have anymore."

Gina shook her head. "That's crazy."

"Isn't it?"

The hours pass easily for Gina and Julia. The conversation easily swayed from Julia's origin story to funny anecdotes of her kids and then to Gina complaining about school and Julia giving motherly advice her mom was never around to give. Around four the front door opened and a wave of noise entered the house.

"Oh my," Julia says as she peeks at the clock. "I'm so sorry for keeping you so long."

Gina laughs and takes the last sip of her mango iced tea. "I enjoyed this."

"Ma, we're home," a deep yet feminine, and deeply familiar, voice calls and then soon enters the kitchen. A mass of wild black curls bounded towards the fridge and pulled out a Coca-Cola. "Who's blondie?"

"Rosa, did you have your phone on you today?" Julia asks pointedly, crossing her arms and morphing her face into one of a disapproving mother.

Rosa turns around and pats down the pockets on her distressed jeans and leather jacket and then pulls out an old iPhone with Gina’s familiar multi-colored duct tape case. "This isn't my phone."

"And this isn't mine," Gina points out, holding up the phone with the black case with the rose. The case is cool to the touch, Gina focuses on it so her face doesn't set on fire just looking at Rosa. 

"That's mine," Rosa says slowly, before looking back down at the one she's holding. "Is this yours?"

"It happens to be," Gina replies and tosses the phone which Rosa dives to catch. Rosa glares and Gina smiles and three more kids enter the kitchen each holding Barbie dolls and tiny combs.

"Hi Mami, Hi Lucianna," they chorus and sit down next to Gina.

"Gina darling, thank you for coming and dropping Rosa's phone off. You should come by for dinner Friday night. Let's say six?" Julia says, discarding her task at the stove to come over and pull Gina up into a bear hug.

"I wouldn't miss it," Gina assures the older woman and returns the hug.

"Rosa, drive Gina home," Julia directs and pulls a small paring knife out of her apron to cut an apple for her three middle daughters who are all chattering and laughing together.

"What? Why, Ma?" Rosa protests, her nose scrunching up with distaste. Gina bites down hard on her tongue accidentally.

"Because she came all the way out here to return your phone which you carelessly misplaced last night," Julia scolds, not looking up from the apple.

"Fine," Rosa grumbles and practically runs out of the kitchen.

Gina waves and then follows out Rosa. "We kissed last night," Gina says after some quiet time in the car, the quaint houses and shrubbery flying past.

"And my mom's a narrow-minded homophobe so if you plan on sticking around she can't find out," Rosa snaps, her eyebrows drawing together. She huffs deeply and slams the heel of her hand into the side of the steering wheel, then gently course correcting as if nothing had happened.

"Okay, clearly you weren't into it," Gina mumbles and forces her eyes away from Rosa's side profile. She isn't above passive aggressive remarks and digs. 

"I don't appreciate being a hetero girls experiment. I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't appreciate it either," Rosa grumbles right back.

"I don't do labels and I don't have a boyfriend," Gina says with more force than necessary. She isn't sure why she's choosing this hill to die on, not sure why it matters so much. She's acutely aware they aren't going to be doing it again anytime soon. It doesn't matter to Rosa if she has a boyfriend and is a cheating scum or not. 

"Just don't tell my mom. Do you want a ride over on Friday?" Rosa finally says when she pulls up to Gina's apartment building.

"Sure. See you then."

⭐⭐⭐

Friday dinners became part of Gina's weekly routine, penciled in between dance and cheer practices and pizza with her brother and Jake. Rosa and Gina drove to the elementary school together and picked up Renata, Elena, and Bianca and every other week they picked up Lucianna. They then picked up ingredients at Walmart and drove to the Diaz house.

Gina liked the Diazes. She couldn't help it. They all had character and the house was never empty. Even Oscar, who was there least of all made a sparkling impression on her. He was witty and engaged her Julia and Rosa in meaningless debates and conversations. Julia was always a soothing presence when Gina or the girls needed her, and could style hair with efficiency like Gina had never seen before. The little girls always had smiles on their faces and Barbies that needed dressing and winding stories to tell Gina. And Rosa... Gina didn't even know where to start with Rosa. Everything that had first attracted her to Rosa was only amplified with time.

This week they are all huddled in the kitchen doing various little tasks to prepare a paella. Renata and Elena are going on about some birthday party they were going to this weekend and Lucianna sings a never ending version of twinkle-twinkle little star. Rosa and Gina talk about about some petty drama that had happened that day in the courtyard between sixth and seventh period while Julia hums lightly along to the radio, a fickle old thing faded from the sun that only worked half the time.

"Do you wanna get a movie this weekend?" Gina asks Rosa offhandedly, carefully avoiding Rosa's gaze by focusing on dicing onions.

"As friends?" Rosa asks. Her voice is tight like it always is when she's being cautious, Gina doesn't think she would want to know what it means if she took the time to decode it.

"No I want to take my enemy to a movie. Duh as friends," Gina drawls, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Fine. Nothing with emotions. The more explosions, the better," Rosa says and walks away to dump her diced potatoes into the pot. 

⭐⭐⭐

"I met a girl," Gina tells Jake the next time they were at his nana's together, curled up in a green floral couch and sipping root beers, Die Hard playing on the old television.

"What's she like?" Jake asks, not phased by Gina's admission. He's known about her no-label state since sixth grade when she made out with Molly Beth.

"She's wild, really tough and badass, we almost hooked up, she gave me a hickey on my shoulder, her mom loves me," Gina says, taking a sip of her root beer, trying not to meet Jake's curious eyes.

"You met her mom?"

"I accidentally took her home phone after we almost hooked up."

"Damn."

"I know."

⭐⭐⭐

Gina walks onto the stoop of the Diaz house and knocks on the door. She wasn't dressed up per se, but she was wearing a skirt usually reserved for parties and three inches shorter than she would ever wear to school, which wasn't something she did a lot.

"Movie's off, Renata is sick," Rosa says as a greeting, exhaustion blatant on her tone, trying to swing the door closed.

Gina jams her foot in the way before it closes, wincing minimally at the impact, and pries the door back open. "Well that's unfortunate. What's for dinner or are we making soup for Renata?" she says, refusing to be fazed by the clear deterrence.

"Fine. We can go in forty-five minutes. My mom had to close tonight and Renata has a fever so I can't leave her here," Rosa relents, stepping back enough for her to come in.

Gina smiles to herself and calls out a hello as she steps into the house. Elena, Bianca, and Lucianna come thundering into the living room and throw themselves at Gina, who expertly catches the girls in her arms. She had grown used to their exuberant greetings, which were only fueled by their liking for Gina. "Hey little Diazes," Gina says and kisses each of their foreheads.

She walks with them into the kitchen and listens to their day's synopsis as she pulls out some leftover rice and beans and places them on the stove. Rosa stands at the archway into the kitchen, leaning her bare shoulder against it, with a weird look on her face.

"What's up with you, Diaz?" Gina calls, stirring a little water into the leftovers so they don't burn or go crispy while reheating.

"Nothing, I'm gonna go check on Renata," Rosa says, her voice an octave too high to be normal.

Gina wipes her hands on a dish towel and then drops it haphazardly onto the counter.

"Nah, I'll go, don't let the food burn."

Gina knocks on the door to Renata and Rosa's shared room before entering. "Hey slightly small Diaz," Gina says, sitting down on the bed and running her fingers gently through Renata's messy bangs.

"Hey Gina," Renata said, patting Gina's back and then dropping her hand.

"How are you feeling?" Gina coos, pressing her fingers against the child's forehead.

"Not good."

"Poor slightly small Diaz. Do you want me to make you some soup or anything?"

"No thank you," Renata says, blinking up at Gina with big eyes. It hits Gina then, how much Renata looks like Rosa, the same small hook in their nose, same wild curls and long eyelashes. Gina's chest _aches,_ for some reason she can't quite place, at the thought of knowing Rosa since they were children, knowing each other inside out the way she knows Jake. 

"Alright, night little Diaz," she finally says, pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead and then slipping out of the room. 

"You don't have to be here. You can go home," Rosa tells Gina at almost eleven P.M. They're curled together, Gina's face half-pressed into the warm skin of Rosa's shoulder and half-pressed against her tank top's strap, a blanket wrapped around them and Elena, Bianca, and Lucianna fast asleep on their laps, Luicanna's chubby toddler fingers interlaced in Gina's. 

"No it's a sleepover," Gina drawls, her voice heavy with sleep.

At that moment Julia enters the house and takes in the scene: Gina and Rosa half asleep with a Grey's Anatomy episode on while the sleep on their laps. She closes the door slowly and silently enough neither girl notices until she speaks up. Neither girl will ever know of the knowing smirk on Julia's face when she walked in and saw the girls all cuddled together. "Gina, I didn't know you were coming over," she exclaims, blowing a kiss while she bends down to undo her shoes.

"We were supposed to see a movie," Rosa says, her words stretching awkwardly off a yawn she's fighting off.

"Ah, mija, I am so sorry. Go, go, and drive Gina home. I don't want her taking the bus."

Gina and Rosa share a mischievous look; and then meticulously remove themselves from a tangle of limbs, before kissing Julia on her cheeks, stuffing their shoes on and running into the night. Rosa jumps into her truck, keying the ignition and rolling the windows down, while Gina hoists herself up. The vehicle rumbles noisily against the silence of the street. 

"The movie theater is the other way," Gina points out, the wind making her words diluted and fizzy around the edges.

"It's too nice of a night for that. We're going stargazing, " Rosa says, looking over at Gina for a split second.

Gina's heart stumbles over itself. She forgets sometimes, that she's not everything she pretends to be, that she's just sixteen, speeding down a suburb road, new to... this. "Who knew the emotionless Rosa Diaz likes stars," she teases before she can say something she will regret to the end of her days. This time, sitting in Rosa's truck, think about Rosa in more than friendly ways, Gina can't find it in herself to look away.

⭐⭐⭐

Gina was sitting on the Diazes' counter on a random Tuesday, reading an old novel for her English class, an abandoned math worksheet besides her, when Julia started talking out of nowhere.

"Do you have a boyfriend Gina?" she asked.

Gina's attention snaps away from her book, her head darting upwards to look at Julia, whose back is turned to her as she kneads the masa for tamales. "Uhh no. No one can handle this fabulousness," she deflects.

Julia rolls the dough over itself one more time, then wipes her hands on her paint splattered and clumsily embroidered jeans, before resting them on her hips. "I'm okay with it you know. Rosa says a lot of stuff she isn't sure about."

"What do you mean, Ma?" Gina closes her book and angles herself so she's facing Julia, who has turned around now. She's taken to calling Julia 'Ma' again and it doesn't faze either of them anymore.

"She thinks I'm all narrow-minded and homophobic. She also thinks she's done a good job at hiding her...affinity for girls," Julia says, waving her hands around like she's trying to snatch the right words out of the humid kitchen air between them.

Gina steals a quick glance out of the window where Rosa is squeezed into a tutu over her favorite pair of Nike Pro shorts. She bites her lip and turns back to Julia and her unruffled face. "Affinity for girls?"

"She sees a pretty girl and her eyes triple in size. She only watches movies with gay couples or lots of female leads. You walk into the room and she becomes this person I haven't seen her be in a while," Julia pauses, turning around briefly to poke her masa. She hums satisfactorily and tosses and clean linen from the over head cabinet on top of it. She sighs, eyes wide and understanding as she stares down at Gina. "And you. I couldn't figure you out for a while. But I finally got it. You like my baby. You're a good girl, Gina. Whether it's her or not, you'll get your happily ever after," Julia says. She walks up to Gina and kisses her cheek.

Gina surges out despite herself and pulls Julia into a tight hug. She sniffling back tears from emotions she can't even place. Gina had never thought this stranger's opinion would matter more than her own mother's but now Gina couldn't even care what her mom had to say. Her mom, who wouldn't know the right thing to say if it was printed on a paper, who wouldn't know how to support her daughter if it came in a manual installed upon motherhood. 

"What's going on here?" Rosa asks, hopping into the kitchen as she attempts to yank off the tutu and make it to the picnic table at the same time. It doesn't work very well for her, leaving her stumbling over her won feet and nearly splitting her chin open on the edge of the table.

"I love your mom," Gina says, never lifting her head from Julia's shoulder, hoping her voice is steady. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update in the next few days. your comments and kudos fuel my heart, don't be afraid to hit those buttons.


	2. How They Fell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rosa doesn’t even know why but the thought of Gina with her new little boyfriend makes her heart clench and her stomach roll and the even weirder part was the twinge in her heart and flutter in her gut when anyone mentioned Gina. Rosa hates it, she had sworn off emotions in eighth grade.  
>  But here Gina was making her feel something she didn't even want to try and decode."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sigh, my paragraphs always seem an appropriate length in the doc then end up being two lines on here :/  
> fun fact: the line "she looks at gina and feels." is a result of an abandoned sentence that i thought sounded nice enough to add a period to.   
> tw: discussion of rape/non-con, depressive episodes
> 
> thanks to everyone who's read, left a kudo, and/or commented <3

**II**

Rosa sits in the corner of the kitchen, tucked between an old, awkward corner of the wall and the counter top, hiding from clean up duties and squalling younger sisters. The kitchen is a blur of her father slicing thin pieces of flan and her little sisters screeching pop lyrics while shelving plastic cups and manhandling silverware.

Julia looks over her shoulder every few moments, her eyes sweeping around until she meets Rosa’s eyes. She waits for the moment when Julia gets fed up with her hiding and shouts until she’s forced to reenter society and contribute. But her eyes only flick past time after time with a knowing, understanding glint.

Rosa’s grateful. Her mind spins in gauzy circles around her head, loose and discollected; the way it does sometimes, the way no one ever talks about. Her phone buzzes, Gina and a string of emojis pops up with a blur of words Rosa can’t force herself to process just beneath.

She swallows harshly, her breath threatening to stutter into oblivion. The memories hit her hard, her harsh assertion that she would not tolerate being an experiment, Gina’s smiling yet slightly pinched face at lunch telling Rosa all about her new boyfriend. She knew it was coming, felt it in her bones since the way Gina’s eyes flicked disregardingly across her in the kitchen, the day she showed up unannounced all that time ago.

Her skin is suddenly not her own. She can hear whispers of every unsavory thing she’s ever been called, every hook up that’s ever gone wrong-

She leaves the kitchen without a good night, curls up in her bed and very forcefully does not think about anything until her body falls to exhaustion.

It's not like Rosa hates Gina or anything, she just can't stand the other girl at the moment. Rosa doesn’t even know why but the thought of Gina with her new little boyfriend makes her heart clench and her stomach roll and the even weirder part was the twinge in her heart and flutter in her gut when anyone mentioned Gina. Rosa hates it, she had sworn off emotions in eighth grade. But here Gina was making her feel something she didn't even want to try and decode.

It was stifling hot in Rosa's bedroom but the safety and comfort her duvet was providing was way more important than whether she sweat or not. Even though her baby hairs sticking to her forehead, something that normally annoys her beyond belief, can’t rattle her today.

She hears her mom and dad getting ready, she’s up at her usual time even though she feels like she hasn’t slept a wink, and slowly hears the trill of alarms start to ring through the house. First Renata's then Elena's and Bianca's and then the sound of her mother's singing waking up Lucianna.

Rosa doesn't move from her bed. Not even to turn off her alarm or tell her mom she is skipping school. She feels like she might shrivel into dust if she moved too much. Renata grumbles about the never ending beeping coming from Rosa's desk but kisses Rosa's forehead and turns off the alarm before leaving the room. Rosa inhales deep breaths as the smells of breakfast waft into her room but she doesn't move. She felt like she would be sick if she ate. As she watches the clock on her desk flip to eight ten as her mom calls out for her. Rosa squeezes her eyes shut, acting as if ignoring the sound would make it go away.

Instead her mom barges into the room with her arms crossed. "Get out of bed. You're going to be late," Julia snaps to Rosa, half-way into the room yet stills angled enough to keep a hawk's eye on everyone.

The voice makes Rosa's head spin and she feels her heart rate spike. She smells pancakes and her stomach rolls. "I'm not going to school today."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Yes, mom, I'm going crazy and I feel like if I go to school it will get worse," Rosa says, trying her best not to let emotions creep into her voice.

Julia steps fully into the room. The wooden spoon she was surely brandishing a moment ago now hanging limply at her side. She regards Rosa for a second. Rosa watches her mother's face crumble and her hasty movements as she puts her spoon down and kicks off her shoes as she sits down next to Rosa on her small bed. "Ques paso, mija?" she asked softly, placing her hand just above Rosa's elbow.

Rosa rolls away and let a few stray tears drag down her cheeks. "Nothing," she said shakily, "I'm fine."

Rosa didn't fight her mom when she enveloped her in a too tight hug. It only escalated her emotions and before she could stop she was bawling like a baby. "Should I call Gina? Can Gina fix this?" Julia asks and Rosa could hear the desperation in her voice.

Rosa feels her heart race and her ears fill with white noise before she yells that she would rather rot than see Gina. Then she's crying too hard to even catch her breath because she can't believe she just said something so harsh about Gina. Julia doesn't say anything for the next ten minutes. She only rubs Rosa's back and promises to check in on her lunch break.

Rosa creeps out of her room twice to pee while her mom is gone but never moves while anyone else is in the house. She feels too pathetic to be seen by anyone. 

Gina is in the kitchen when Rosa leaves her room (for real) for the first time in a week. She almost turns right back around to re-become a recluse but she's so hungry she walks past Gina and grabs a banana and a cup of water off the counter. Gina’s eyes follow her around the kitchen, not heavily, not demanding, there enough for Risa to feel tethered but not grounding. She might hate herself for being soothed so easily by Gina’s presence.

They don’t speak. Gina slides over a folder with a few post-it notes stuck to the front with encouraging messages and doodles from her and Jake.

She doesn't talk to Gina for four more days until she's sure her head is going to explode from ignoring her. "Is he good to you?" Rosa asks in her croaky, disused voice. It burns. She looks around for a glass of water to commandeer but Gina beats her to it, sliding her own glass across the the table in an offering.

"Treats me like a princess," Gina replies smoothly. Her nails -talons really- are bright pink with teal flowers and make a small noise as Gina beats out a staccato rhythm.

"Good, good, good," Rosa says, wiping her hands on her pants. Her head spins, a little bit of something she won’t think about, a little bit lingering dehydration. She finishes Gina’s water and brings them both back peach iced teas, her own offering.

Gina studies Rosa as she flips through the folder Gina brought by a few days ago. "I should find you a boyfriend. You're so bitter and lonely," Gina singsongs, leaning across the table to gently tug on a curl, and giggle when it springs back.

"I don't want a boyfriend," Rosa snaps and then covers her mouth wishing she could claw it off. I want you, Rosa wants to say but she doesn't because she could never bring herself to say that out loud. She doesn't even know if it's true or if it will last. All she knows is she doesn't want to date anyone.

She looks at Gina and feels.

She's dating Marcus and she hates it. He writes poetry and cries when characters die in her favorite movies. He doesn't like midnight drives to McDonalds or cold water swims or late night talks on the roof. She hates him to some extent because he isn't Gina and he isn't funny and he isn’t outgoing. He makes Rosa want to pull out her hair. One day she invites him to a cold water swim, again, trying to make it work like Gina harps on about. And he declines, saying he never has been and never will be into that. Rosa rolls her eyes and tells him she never has been and never will be into him.

At lunch Gina gives her a proud smirk and then launches into some story about cheer practice the previous night. Of course Gina is a cheerleader, all the pretty girls are.

...

...

Rosa is in Gina’s room for the first time in the two-ish years they’ve known each other. It’s somehow exactly like she pictured and wildly different. There’s purses and jewelry strewn everywhere, bouncing little kaleidoscopes across the ceiling. There’s clothes on the backs of her chair, and hanging from the closet door.

Rosa drops into a bean bag, and sees a lacy bra hanging out of Gina’s dance bag.

She snaps her eyes closed, wrinkling her nose at her gross invasion of privacy.

She bats away the memories of the way Gina’s skin felt under her hands, the way she tasted, the shape of her body under Rosa’s hands. She squeezes her eyes tighter.

She doesn’t notice Gina come back in.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

Rosa opens her eyes a crack, “‘m fine.” 

...

...

"Are you sure this is safe?" Gina whines to Rosa for the hundredth time in an hour. Rosa rolls her eyes for the hundredth time in that same hour.

They’re shivering on the beach, the only lights a spattering of lanterns and the glow sticks made into bracelets and necklaces. Gina’s hair is tied up in a messy bun, and the small hairs hanging down blow in the wind and Rosa’s forms a floating halo around her head.

"I'm still alive aren't I?" Rosa replies, rubbing her hands together and then up and down her legs.

A strong rip of wind blows through the beach, getting sand in eyes and making Gina yelp then squeal with laughter. "Debatable," Gina says, her voice shaking with the aftershocks of laughter.

"I kinda hate you," Rosa drawls, tossing a sideways look over at Gina, whose shaking like a lamb learning to use its legs.

"I love you too," Gina says, tossing one of her arms around Rosa's shoulders and letting it rest there. Rosa tenses up and her heart feels like it's going to beat out of her chest; her only saving grace is that Gina doesn't notice.

They stand in silence for a bit, the sounds of everyone else warming up and staying warm along with the hustle of shops behind them wrapping them up in a neat little cocoon. Rosa’s head rests on Gina’s. “Wait,” she says, loud enough to be talking normally but with the noise it’s a whisper. “Are you leeching warmth off of me?” Gina’s laugh rings out clear in the night.

Another gust of breeze makes the windbreaker tossed haphazardly over her white bikini billow out. She shivers violently. Rosa pulls her closer. “I told you to wear a wetsuit,” Rosa says with a fond shake of her head.

Gina gives her an unimpressed look. “Not all of us are ice water junkies.”

A guy a few years older than them wearing the bright orange of an employee points them to the starting line with a two minute warning. He ogles Gina unsubtly as he talks to them, his eyes drifting chest ward every other word. Rosa pulls her closer yet again, then drags her towards the ocean.

“Are you sure, sure, this is safe?” Gina asks once more, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, her windbreaker back where their towels are set up, nothing protecting her from the breeze or the water.

"I wouldn't be doing this if it would put you in danger," Rosa says sincerely. She was about to add because I love you when the coordinator of the cold water swim presses the button on the airhorn signifying the start of the race. Rosa takes off and dives into the water, relishing in the cold prickle on her skin, the teasing burn of salt in her eyes. As she comes up for air and begins to start paddling she hears Gina squeal and scream, she guesses because of the cold water.

Rosa wins second place because she got distracted by Gina twice.

She and Gina sit on towels in the sand while the wind whips around their hair and they laugh about the experience. Gina shivers tenfold harder but suggests ice cream anyways and Rosa can't say no to her.

They get back to Rosa's house later than Julia approves of and she expresses it very vocally from the porch swing, her arms crossed tight across her middle, but eventually makes the girls hot cocoa and sends them to bed. Rosa decides she doesn't mind losing if she loses with Gina on her side.

...

...

Gina is helping Renata, Elena and Bianca with homework while somehow managing to hold Lucianna and do her own homework at the same time. Rosa is smiling as she hums along to the radio, the radio that just won’t die, playing in the kitchen while she cooks for Gina and her sisters. She watches them out of the corner of her eye and can't help but smile wider when she sees Gina with the little kids. But her smile instantly deflates every time because she knows she shouldn't be thinking about Gina having kids...more specifically having kids with Gina. It's messed up. Gina will probably marry Milton even though he's creepy and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near Gina.

"Girls go wash your hands," Rosa calls as she snaps herself from her inner thought and grabs some plates from the cabinet.

"Only Mama makes us do that," Bianca whines, turning to look at Rosa. Rosa glares back at the large puppy dog eyes and repeats her request. Babysitting was akin to wrangling opossums.

"That's no fun," Elena says, but stands up and heads to the bathroom, taking Lucianna with her.

When all the kids have eventually left the kitchen Gina sashays over to Rosa and hugs her tightly, her arms squeezing Rosa’s middle til she nearly can’t breathe. "Milton cheated on me, Roro," Gina whispers into Rosa’s hair, her breath warm and soft against Rosa’s skin.

She shivers despite herself. "He's an ass, Gina. You deserve better than that," Rosa whispers back. I can treat you better, she thinks about saying. Instead she says, “There are plenty others out there.”

"Rosie said a bad word!" Bianca squeals, clapping her hands together and grinning viciously.

Rosa jumps, startling Gina off of her. Gina gives her a weird look but slides past her wordlessly to start dishing out food.

"Ohh! Pay the jar!" Elena calls, walking back into the room, her voice too loud for the space.

"Fine, fine, you guys caught me," Rosa says, making a show of wrinkling her nose and digging a quarter out of her back pocket before tossing it into the glass jar full of coins on the counter.

Renata and Elena press up close to it, whispering about dolls and family vacations and ‘how many more coins?’.

Later, after Rosa's parents get home from their date night and Rosa's younger sisters are tucked into bed, Rosa and Gina crawl out to the flat roof above the garage that Rosa's window leads out onto.

“Do you remember, the first time you brought me out here and I almost fell off?” Gina asks, kicking a blanket with a wolf face open until it’s big enough for them to sit on.

Rosa hauls herself through the window, pokes her head back through to make sure Renata is still sleeping and then gives Gina a devious smile. “How do you know it wasn’t all part of my master plan to get rid of you?”

Gina snorts. “You would never.”

She drops down gracefully onto the blanket, patting the space next to her. Rosa joins her, leaning back to see what light pollution from the nearby cities don’t block. “You’re right,” Rosa concedes.

Gina grabs her hand and uses it to trace out pretend constellations, telling the make-believe myths behind them. Rosa commits the feeling of Gina’s hand against hers, the way she smells, the way her natural voice sounds; she thinks of the time they ditched a movie to go stargazing and she showed Gina the real constellations. Gina eventually flops down besides Rosa, curling against her, touching from ankle to shoulder. She never lets go of Rosa’s hand. Rosa can hear the music blaring from Mrs. Tiano three doors down, and watches the light from the TV across the street bounce across the road.

The world seems still. Like they could go on like this forever. Naturally, Rosa needs to shake it up.

"I'm really sorry about Milton, Gina," Rosa says softly, playing with Gina’s fingers, rubbing shapes into her soft skin. Gina presses into Rosa. Rosa pulls her close. Give and take.

"He told me he was the only one who would love me. That-that's how he showed me he loved me. That I was the only one he would ever love," Gina whispers in a dull monotone that makes Rosa crackle with anger.

She imagines Milton’s face. Imagines smashing it. She kisses the top of Gina’s head instead. "You don't deserve that, Gina. You deserve to be treated that the damn queen you are," Rosa whispers back, fighting back tears. She doesn’t know why she feels the urge to cry.

"You keep saying that but you didn't notice."

Rosa mentally kicks herself. "I'm so sorry, Gina. I just always assumed it was okay when you said it was. I'm sorry for not digging deeper. I'm so, so sorry, Gina.” Her voice cracks towards the end.

Gina rolls over slightly, staring into Rosa’s eyes, her own eyes sparkle in the thin beam of light from the street light. "I guess I forgive you," Gina says. She presses her face into Rosa’s neck, her lips right against Rosa’s wildly beating pulse, and stays there. Rosa exhales slowly, counts to thirteen and forgets what comes next, says a Hail Mary.

Gina pulls away, all the way away, sitting up and supported by one arm. Rosa can’t make out most of her features this way, but can see Gina's eyes glinting. "You know what screw this, of course I forgive you because I can't stay mad at you and you're right, as much as I hate to admit, you're right and I don't know why I never told you. I think I just hoped if no one knew it would go away."

Rosa sits up too. Gina won’t meet her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Gina," Rosa says again. She secretly hopes that saying that enough times will quiet the guilt and anger gnawing away at. “I’ll stab him,” Rosa offers, picturing the new set of throwing knives she has.

"Why do you even care so much? He showed me the truth, I'm not all that I think I am," Gina says. Snaps.

Rosa’s eyes widen despite herself. She leans forward. Gina purses her lips, staring resolutely at the gold painted constellations on the facia board, she wavers, the breaks and meets Rosa’s stare. Rosa’s eyes flick to Gina’s lips, no matter how hard she tries not to. "Well he was wrong. You're everything you think you are and more. And I love you for that. I love you, Gina," Rosa says.

It feels like flying and falling and hundred degree summers and the coldest ocean swims. She thinks, if Gina throws her heart back at her, she could pretend she meant it platonically. She thinks she can do it, hopes.

She’s sure she’s blown it, the two and a half years of carefully crafted friendships and carefully crafted lies to herself, to Gina, to everyone, when Gina pulls back, shifts away, and resolutely pins her eyes elsewhere.

"Don't play with me like that," Gina says. Her voice isn’t shaking anymore, it's strong and confident; and sharply dangerous.

"Play with you like what?" Rosa's heart is beating so hard it's painful, so hard she’s sure Gina can hear it.

"I'm not in the mood for your little jokes and pranks right now," Gina says in the same scary tone. Rosa is not big on pranks, jokes maybe, but never pranks, and never like this; they both know that.

"I'm not joking around," Rosa says anyways.

Gina refuses to look at Rosa. They wait.

Gina looks back at Rosa. Rosa loses her breath, every cliche romance heroine. She knows, in that second, that instant when their eyes meet, that she can’t pretend. They both know, they both know exactly what is happening right now, that they’re teetering on a precipice. That nothing will ever be the same.

Rosa is positive she doesn’t move first -maybe leans to meet halfway- not after what Gina just confused, but their lips are touching and nothing matters anymore. Gina’s hand is in her hair, her hand on Rosa’s neck. Gina kisses softly, tenderly. There’s no rush, no urgent desire like the last time they kissed, the night they met, yet Rosa’s never felt so much at one time. The skin where Gina touches burns.

"I think I love you too, Rosa," Gina says, "I think I have for a long time."

Rosa is so happy she could cry. Instead, she leans forward and kisses Gina again.


	3. How Their Future Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> to infinity and beyondddd  
> rosa and gina tackle the future
> 
> tw: discussions of death, active shootings, brief homophobia, premature birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh, any mistakes are my own because i had no motivation to edit this

**III**

"Do you think we're moving too fast?" Rosa asks over the obnoxiously loud crinkle of tape being pulled form a dispenser. She presses it flat over the flaps of the box with a smooth, practiced motion. This is only the -what seems like- hundredth box of -what seems like thousands. Her childhood bedroom is being cocooned into boxes, ready for storage and the great beyond of college. 

Gina's head pops up from behind a short wall of boxes. Her auburn hair is sticking to her face in places -curse hundred degree summers and old A.C.- the rest of it piled precariously atop her head in a messy bun. "What do you mean?" she asks slowly.

Rosa opens her mouth. Gina isn't done. 

"Do you regret this?" Gina asks. It isn't clear whether she means them as a couple or this as in moving in together, picking the same college, committing to a future as much as two eighteen year olds can. It's stupid really, to even contemplate regretting either of those decisions. Call it naive, call it reckless, idealistic, stupid, whatever, but Rosa can't imagine a future without Gina at her side. There's no one else for her, she's sure of it down to her bones. 

"No," Rosa says vehemently. "Never." 

Gina cocks her head, eyes wide and searching. 

Rosa sighs. "I just don't want either of us to feel trapped because we've been together forever." 

Gina gets up, dropping a sneaker onto the floor and makes her way over to Rosa, dropping into her lap. She wraps her arms snugly around Rosa's neck, face pressed into the crook, fitting like a puzzle. "If you feel trapped leave, if I feel trapped I'll leave. But until then," Gina says, she pulls back, lifts Rosa's chin up with her fingers, "don't worry about it." 

The apartment they share with Jake is, frankly, appalling. Gina grew up in the nice part of town, alone, but alone in a nice apartment. Rosa and Jake grew up in the suburbs, right out of the city used to houses and space.

The dingy paint and flickering light bulbs make them all cringe.

They make it work though. They get a cat to kill bugs and scare off the stray rats (after one -1- rat made an appearance in the hallway) and Gina gets a job at a paint shop and slowly repaints all the walls when she's not working or studying. 

Rosa finds she likes Jake a lot. They'd only hung out once or twice in high school, through Gina and in big groups. He's cool though, Rosa thinks. He makes her chuckle and doesn't mind watching movies with explosions. 

⭐⭐⭐

Rosa is smart. It's not a secret either. She finishes her bachelors degree a year early while Gina, who insists on finishing her communications and art degrees if it kills her, and Jake finish up.

Her graduation is in two weeks and she has no clue what to do next. She's going to have spent three years of her life learning about business and money and management and now that the job applications sit (untouched and shoved away) in her desk it seems wholly unfulfilling.

It's not until the three of them (los tres amigos, as Jake calls them in a horrible accent. Third wheel, as Gina calls him) are on the couch watching Die Hard in May that it comes to Rosa. It's like any other movie night. Gina sits between Jake and Rosa, curled into Rosa's side and her feet tucked under Jake's thigh. Rosa comments on explosions and fight scenes, Gina talks about the romance, Jake talks about the presence or lack thereof of Bruce Willis. 

"You know," he says randomly, as the car chase scene unfolds on their old television set. A new television set has been deemed superfluous, so they stick with the one from Jake's old bedroom that doesn't work if it gets too cold outside. "I think I'm going to be a cop." 

Gina scrambles for the remote, jabbing the pause button with her paint-chipped nail. She drops the remote, which bounces painfully off of Rosa's knee and stares at him. "Jake," she says quietly. 

Rosa rubs a calming heart into her thigh. Gina always gets quiet when she's worried. 

"Jake, you could die," she says. 

Jake shrugs. "I've thought about it. Maybe I die, maybe I don't. I want to help people, I want to be like McClane." 

Gina looks over her shoulder at Rosa, who shrugs. "If I have to retrieve your body from the morgue, I'll commit necromancy so I can kill you myself." 

Jake leans forward and kisses Gina's forehead. "I love you, Jeans." 

Gina punches him but mutters an 'I love you too' under her breath. "Police, huh?" Rosa says, her mind half there, half floating away. She's thinking rapidly, working out a mental pros and cons list.

"Not you too," Gina says, an affronted look on her face. 

Her too, it turns out. 

Rosa spends a year as an accountant -yes, an accountant- working the most mind numbing job she's ever had while Jake finishes school before they start the academy together. But the job makes good money, and there's talk of getting a newer, better apartment soon. 

Before she knows it, she's enrolling with Jake at a local precinct. Before she knows it, she's heading out to her first day, Jake beaming at her side, a hesitant Gina standing across from them in the cramped entry of their apartment with her hands on her hips and a long list of warnings. Before she knows it, Rosa is a full blow police officer. 

⭐⭐⭐

Rosa makes detective first, turning in her uniform with out so much as a second glance. This is what she wanted, solving and searching. Not traffic tickets on Lincoln Bridge, if anyone is stupid enough to speed there, it should be karma at that point, she reasons, her commanding officers did not feel the same. 

Jake joins her few months later. "It's a miracle we're still in the same precinct," he tells her on his first day in the bull pen, standing over her desk. She almost pulls a dagger on him just because she can. She doesn't, instead she invites him to lunch. 

Rosa sees the look on Jake's face the day Amy transfers into their precinct, her desk shoved neatly in front of Jake's. 

"It's hate," he laments to Rosa and Gina and a tumbler of whiskey that night at Shaw's. Gina and Rosa share the look of judgement that only two people who have been together long enough can share. "She's so uptight and neat and-" 

"I'll buy you a shot if you shut up about Amy until we get to the apartment," Gina says, shoving herself backwards and towards the bar, making it clear it wasn't an option. 

Rosa is the one who accidentally, she swears it was accidental, gets the first administrative assistant to quit. She also, coincidentally, the one who drops the application on Gina's lap one night at the apartment. 

Once Gina's been hired and every person her age that she cares about is in one office, the bonding begins. Barely anytime later she's just as likely to be at the gym with Terry or the mall with Charles or the bar with all of them than just Jake or Gina. One night, the night Jake and Amy make their infamous bet, Gina adn Rosa sit in a corner talking about finally getting their own place. 

They do, and it's perfect. 

⭐⭐⭐

Gina is working the day gay marriage becomes legalized across all the states. She was actually working for once, her phone on silent and face down next to her as she filed reports and answered emails. The desk phone rings and Gina picks it up with her best customer service voice in place. 

"Hello," she barely gets out before Julia's voice is coming through the line fast and insistent. 

"Have you checked the news? Did you sees?" she asks, slightly breathlessly. Gina can hear her smile and pride through the phone. 

"I haven't," Gina says, lifting her shoulder to hold the phone in place while she picks up her phone and opens the news app on her phone. As it refreshes, the precinct WiFi trudging along, and Julia chatters about how she just talked to Rosa and everything is all so wonderful. Finally, the screen changes from the loading circle to the news. 

Every headline reads some variation of the same, it is now possible for same-sex couples to get married in every state. The breath flutters out of her chest. "Oh my goodness," she says. 

Julia giggles, not her big hearty laugh but a girlish giggle. "I see you saw," she exclaims. "Isn't it wonderful? Are you two going to..." 

Gina blinks a few times. "Julia," Gina says breathlessly, "I'm going to have to call you later. I love you. Say hi to the girls for me." 

She slams the phone back into the receiver without waiting for an answer. She stands up in a hurry, knocking the edge of her binder, it clatters to the floor. All eyes in the bull pen turn towards her. Jake looks gleeful yet worried. Gina is acutely aware that she can't see Rosa at the moment. She needs to see Rosa. She looks down, see her phone in her hand, types out a shaky text telling Rosa she'll be home late. She looks up, Amy is staring at her still. _Good luck,_ she mouths as Gina grabs her purse and hurries towards the bullpen, not bothering to excuse herself to the Captain. 

There's people in the street with rainbows on their faces and flags waving high in their air. Her heart beats out a ramshackle beat, something prideful something innately nervous. She swings into the first jewelry store she can find. There's an assortment of people in there, a few couples grinning happily at each other, a few alone all with the same idea that is rattling in Gina's mind right now. The ladies behind the counter look frazzled but please, this is probably a welcome uptick in business. Gina walks around peeking at displays, looking at rings that would all make Rosa gag about romance and the patriarchy. She stops at a display of rings with nonwhite stones. There's one that catches her eye, a silver band with a grey opal stone, the plaque announces. She waves over a sales associate. 

The woman behind the counter with a strawberry blond braid down her back holds up a finger to her. Gina waits. As she waits she thinks about their shitty apartment, the nice pamphlets in the middle of their shared bed. She winces at the thought of spending thousands of dollars on a ring. She takes a deep breath, opens her purse, and pulls out the credit card linked to her mother's account. She swore off using her mother's money when her mother made it very clear she didn't approve of her 'life choices' . Nothing would infuriate her mother than using her deep bank account to start her life with a woman. 

The strawberry blonde woman bounds over a tired smile on her face. "Hi, I'm Mary," she says. She sounds breathless but exuberant. "How can I help you?" 

Gina points through the glass at the grey opal ring. "Can I have that please?" she says. 

Mary beams. "That will be-" 

"Don't," Gina interrupts. She slides the credit card, very much not her own, across the glass. "Take care of it." 

Mary says nothing of it, takes the card and swipes it through a square on her belt. Gina replaces the card in her purse without a thought. She watches the navy nail polish on Mary's nails as she slides the ring in what Gina hopes is the right size into a box. "Happy engagement!" she says handing over the box. 

Gina smiles at her and deposits the box into her purse. She goes the opposite direction of the flat. Hops on the metro and heads towards the heart of New York City. She gets off, walks to Macy's. 

She browses the racks, flicking through blouses and skirts, clutching her purse closer to her body than normally. She flits over to the dresses, flicks through the racks. She picks out a dress that's a pale shade of pink with thin spaghetti straps and a low neckline, a flowy skirt and slit up the thigh. She wanders to the lingerie section. She smirks to herself, imaging the shape of the ring box in her bag. She picks out a black set, lace up the sides with buttery soft silk between. 

She pays for it with her mother's credit card.

She smiles to herself the entire train ride home, people around her smile and wave flags and wave and doodle rainbows on themselves. 

The key slips into the lock too easily, which means someone has unlocked the door from the inside. Last she knew, Jake and Rosa were still working but she doesn't think about it too hard. Her mind reels with plans for the evening, cooking up a meal she learned from Julia, maybe flower petals if she can get down to the bodega. 

She opens the door and there are already petals on the floor. She blinks a few times, convinced she's imagining it all. She locks the door behind her, and walks down the short hallway. Mr Whiskers comes to greet her. She doesn't put her purse on the rack but bends down to pet the cat. She goes past the cracked tile where the half wall stops, opening up to the dining room. 

She blinks startled at the sight she is met with. Rosa is standing in the dining room, hands scrunched up in her hair as she scrutinizes the table setting. There's rose petals around her on the floor, candles poised to be lit. 

Gina stubs her toe on the baseboard and curses under her breath. Rosa turns around. 

In sync, their eyes widen comically. Rosa is wearing a black dress, the one she wore to the New Year's Eve party last year, and she looks sinful in it. Rosa looks surprised to see Gina, which makes sense considering Gina said she would be home late. But usually when Gina told her she was going to be home late Rosa went out threw knives or worked out, not came home first. 

"So here's what were going to do," Gina says after a vicious staring contest that had no signs of ending before Gina looked away. "I'm going to get dressed because I did not buy this outfit," she gestures to her Macy's bag, "and then we can cook together because I know you were planning on dumping takeout onto those plates. And I'm going to pretend that I never saw this set up. 

Rosa sheepishly grins at the dig at her lack of culinary talent but nods. Gina smiles at her then slinks off to the bed room where she shimmies into her new lingerie and dress, touches up her make up and straps on her favorite golden sandals. 

She walks back into the main room ready to cook and spend time with Rosa, a happy anticipation about the ring shoved down her bra right now flutters around her stomach. Rosa looks over and sees Gina hovering in the hallway. She stands up so fast the chair goes fumbling backwards. Rosa flushes, the tips of her cheeks and ears going pick and Gina giggles. 

Rosa runs her hands along the front of her dress, then tucks her hair behind her ears. "Listen I know we said we were going to forget all of this," Rosa says, waving her arm in the general direction of the set table, "but I can't wait." 

Gina raises an eyebrow. Rosa knows her well enough, a thought that make Gina smile, to know that means to carry on. 

"But I've done my waiting already," she says. "I waited for years while we were friends, and I've waited for years while we were together. And I don't regret it, I'd do it all again, but why wait any longer. Marry me. Marry me Gina." She kneels down on one knee, producing a ring box from God knows where, looking up at Gina with her soulful eye. Gina really loves those eyes. 

Gina fights off the urge to cry. She allows a wide smile though. Rosa is right, they've practically been waiting for this sense they met. Why wait any longer? When the thing you're so sure about is right there? Gina has know she was going to spend the rest of her life in Rosa's orbit since the night they met, known she was going to spend the rest of ehr life with Rosa since they got together. Maybe its overly optimistic of her, maybe it's the truth.

She approaches Rosa slowly, not afraid of a little cat and mouse. Rosa's eyes follow her. She reaches into ehr dress and pull out the ring she purchased earlier that day. She stops close enough to Rosa that their knees are nearly touching. She looks at the ring, Rosa's looking at it too, her jaw slack. "Only if you marry me too," Gina says, looking at Rosa intensely. 

Rosa nods dumbly, Gina's pretty sure Rosa has never been speechless before. Rosa gently transfers the ring box she's holding from both hands to her right and holds out her left hand. The ring fits perfectly, Gina is secretly relieved, and looks stunning against Rosa's olive skin. Rosa looks at it with childlike wonder. Gina waves ehr own left hand dramatically around and Rosa captures it with a smirk and slides a ring onto Gina's finger. 

It takes her breath away, the look of a twisted silver and rose gold band with a sole round ruby on it on her finger. She engaged, she's going to be married. She feels like she could pass out, instead she hauls Rosa up for a searing kiss. Rosa hands grab her waist greedily, pressing harshly into the small of her back. Gina presses her closer. 

They only make it to the bedroom out of some shred of respect they have for Jake. 

They lay tangled in their bed, a sheet haphazardly thrown over them from when the AC kicked on. Rosa presses a kiss to Gina's sweaty temple. "So, what was that about cooking dinner?" she asks. 

Gina laughs, leans over to kiss Rosa slowly. Rosa's hands still feel like fire on her body even after years. "Let's just go crash your Mom's," Gina eventually says. 

That's exactly what they do. Julia squeals like a child when she sees them holding hands on the porch. 

⭐⭐⭐ 

Rosa and Gina sit curled together on the couch in the Diaz house while Lucianna, Bianca -who are 15 and 12 now- and Rosa's nieces open their presents with fascination. Rosa smiles watching her two youngest sisters enjoy the Christmas spirit before the reality of the world hits them. Renata sits with her boyfriend, whispering to each other. The only person missing is Elena who couldn't fly up from Florida for the holidays because of snow. Gina watches with her own little smile, enjoying the antics of the Diaz family, and with the growing excitement her little secret holds. Its far from her first Christmas with the Diazes but it never fails to leaver her heart feeling warm and fuzzy. 

Rosa plays with her wedding rings and Gina hums softly as Julia and Oscar hand out the last of the presents to the kids and then look at the small pile for the other adults. Lucianna and Bianca come over and give Rosa and Gina big hugs and sloppy cheek kisses to show their thanks while Rosa's nieces give them quick hugs and polite thank-yous.

"Julia," Gina calls out, "save our gift to you for last."

Julia nods and dispenses the remainder of the presents. Gina gets a candle, a phone case, a purse and a lotion and perfume set while Rosa gets some shirts, money, more money and a knife polishing set. Julia nearly passed out when she saw her son give Rosa a knife polishing set but couldn't stay mad when Bianca pointed out that Rosa would love that and Rosa agreed. Everyone else opens their gifts while Rosa keeps playing with her wedding rings and Gina focuses on tracing the small dots on Rosa's sweater.

"Calm down, babe," Gina whispers into the skin on Rosa's neck.

Rosa nods, taking Gina's hand in hers but doesn't answer.

"Alrighty, Gina, Rosa, we're opening yours now," Oscar announces in his booming voice, holding the slim package in front of himself and Julia.

Gina whoops and rubs small circles on Rosa's hand with her thumb while Rosa squeezes her hand with all her might it seemed. Gina and Rosa watch, with their breath held, as Julia rips off the wrapping paper and then Oscar pulls up the lid on the small box. He pulls out the positive pregnancy test and then a small ultrasound picture. He sucks in a breath and shows it to his wife whose hands fly up to her mouth as tears spring to her eyes.

"Ay Dios mios. Is this you? Is this your baby?" Julia asks, holding the picture towards Gina and Rosa.

Gina nods, her smile threatening to split her face in half. Gina feels Rosa's grip loosen and she could tell she had relaxed.

"Ay Dios mios. No lo puedo creer, estoy muy feliz," Julia cries, springing towards Gina and Rosa to embrace them in a bear hug. Gina feels Rosa's shoulders shake next to her in what she recognized as her crying. "Don't cry, mija. This is a good thing," Julia says, wiping Rosa's tears. "Aren't you happy?"

"I'm so happy. I was just worried about what you would say."

"Ah, well don't worry anymore. The more grandbabies the better," Julia decides merrily. "Now who's carrying?"

Gina waves and smiles while Julia presses a kiss to her fingertips and then to Gina's abdomen.

The Christmas festivities had died down and Rosa's brother and his family had gone home hours ago. Renata and her fiancee were at a local hotel, leaving Gina and Rosa alone in Rosa's childhood bedroom. Gina loved that room, she had so many good memories in there. They were laying side by side, hands entwined looking at the ceiling as the had done so many times before, before they got together and after. "I'm glad your family took it well," Gina says lazily.

"No they didn't," Rosa says sharply.

"What do you mean?"

"My brother had some things to say. It's fine."

Gina rolls onto her side, facing her wife. "What did he say?"

"Nothing babe. Don't worry about it," Rosa says, hastily to reassure Gina. But the steel in her eyes isn't melting.

"Baby, don't do this."

Rosa stares into her wife's eyes, trying to search for any judgement. "He said we were a waste of women. A waste of a marriage. That the baby would never truly be ours."

"Well he was wrong. I've never heard anything more wrong in my life. And I knew Jake growing up."

Rosa chuckles lightly and pulls Gina closer, wrapping her arms around her waist. "I love you babe."

"I love you more."

⭐⭐⭐

Rosa's shirt barely fit over Gina's growing stomach anymore. It seemed like everyday she was bigger and bigger. She was eight months now and none of her clothes seemed to fit anymore, not even the ones she took from Rosa and Jake.

Her leggings barely covered the underside of her bump, the shirt didn't come all the way over her shirt and her feet were too swollen for any shoes besides flip flops but she needs to get to the precinct now. She has been on maternity for the last week now as her due date crawls near but right now there was an active shooting at Park Avenue Hotel and Gina had to know whether her wife was okay or not. She closes the door as she left their condo, shimmying the lock so it clicks shut and then walking to the stairs where she maneuvers her way down.

Finding her car in the garage will take too much time and so will waiting for an Uber so Gina set herself in the direction of the precinct and started walking. Well waddling was more like it. By the time she reaches the building she can feel sweat dripping down herself in rivulets. Her breathing is labored but she's so close. She pressed the button on the elevator and then sank back onto the wall.

She was relieved to have something to lean on after standing for so long. After what seemed like too short of a time the elevator doors dinged open and she heaves her self up and walked into the bullpen.

"Gina, are you okay?" Terry asks, clearly alarmed, as soon as he notices her.

Gina is shocked, she hadn't expected to be noticed so quickly. "Yeah, yeah, I just walked here from the house. Is Rosa okay?" Gina pants, lowering herself into the chair that Amy had rolled over for her.

"Why on Earth would you do that, Jeans?" Jake asks, not looking up from his case.

"I saw the shooting on the news and I had to know if she was okay. Now tell me, is she okay?" The desperation in her voice was blatantly apparent as Gina stopped bothering to hide her worry. The team shares a look and Terry takes her hand, enveloping it nearly completely.

"She went in. We've been keeping an ear on the radio and so far, so good. Have faith, Gina. She wouldn't let anything happen to herself so close to your little girl's due date."

Gina narrows her eyes into slits. "You let her go," she says, lowering her voice so much Terry's eyes widen and he drops his hand quickly.

"Gi, it's gonna be okay. Rosa's a badass." Terry's voice shakes as he speaks and Gina could see the fear in his eyes. It fee;s impossible to breath in that moment and Gina is certain the world was going to collapse around her. She sees Jake point at herself and mouth 'distract her' and Terry nods in her peripheral.

"So did you guys pick a name for the little girl?" Terry prompts.

Gina rubs the exposed skin on her midriff. She hears the elevator bing and she pushes aside the thought it could be Rosa. "We're gonna name her Enigma."

"No we aren't," Rosa says softly, laying her hand on Gina's shoulder. Gina whirls around so quickly the edges of her vision go blurry. When her eyes confirm that the voice actually belonged to Rosa, Gina felt such a wave of relief and joy she thought she might collapse. Rosa smiles quickly but then shuts her face back down.

"You're okay," Gina says, her voice an octave or two higher than normal, she has the feeling she might be bordering on hysterical.

"Of course I am. I can't just leave you and the baby all alone can I?" Rosa says snarkily, but she reaches out and pulls Gina close to her, even if its awkward. The event had scared Rosa out of her wits and the entire time she thought about how much she could not die. She wasn't the one who took out the shooter, thankfully, because if she had to, she might have frozen up. She just needs to be close to her wife right now.

Gina barely contains a sob, but let the tears escape from her eyes.

Then her nails dug into Rosa's shoulders. "Babe, what the hell?" Rosa screeches, trying to wriggle away from Gina.

"The baby," Gina hisses through her teeth, digging her nails further into Rosa as she grimaces though the pain. "The baby wants out."

Rosa's mouth drops into an 'O' and she nods. "Let's go have a baby then."

Lots of screaming and lots of pain later, Rosa holds her baby while Gina sleeps not so peacefully. The baby has blue eyes like Gina and had a few dark curls on her head. During the intense hours before the baby was born Gina and Rosa decided on the name Emila. Rosa rocked back and forth, cooing to the infant and waiting for her family to arrive.

They did very soon. And very loudly. So loudly Gina yells at them to be quiet. They understand of course, most of them having experienced younger Diaz siblings being born. Julia cradles the baby, smiling so widely Rosa thought her mother's face would split in half. Her brother and sister-in-law even come, sporting their own small pregnancy bump. Her sister-in-law apologizes for what her brother had said when they revealed the pregnancy. Rosa begrudgingly accepted the apology and let her hold Emila.

⭐⭐⭐

Rosa's now pregnant and she had to admit she did not like it, at all. Her skin itches and burns. She feels sick and oily and sad. Sad all the time, sick all the time. She is never doing this again. No matter how many times Gina said it would be fun if they each carried two babies, Rosa is never going to be pregnant again.

Emila is three now, and had been so excited when her moms told her she was going to be an older sister. She had bragged about it to anyone who would listen for months. It made Rosa's heart soar. She loves her kids so much. More than she loves anything else - secretly, maybe even a tiny bit more than she loves Gina. Just a pinch. Between Gina, Emila, and the fetus, Rosa was so full of love she couldn't remember a time when she ever felt lonely. She couldn't remember the times she laid in bed feeling like a failure, laid in bed hating Gina.

She has the baby early. Scarily early to her and Gina, but the doctors assure them it is all okay since the baby was only two months early.

She had been knocked down at work. She was supposed to be on desk duty after five months but she was driving by and the woman was in danger. The woman was pressed against the wall, a man hovering over her, a knife to her neck, ripping off her dress.

She had pulled over her car, snapped a few pictures and intervened. He knocked her down, causing her to hit her stomach on the ground as she fell. Rosa stood up shakily, a deep feeling something was wrong settling between her ribs. She cuffed the guy, told the woman how she could submit evidence, then drove him to the precinct. She could feel something dripping down her leg, she did not want to find out if it was blood or pee or her water.

She just dropped him in holding, collapsed in her chair and yelled for someone to call Gina and _for someone to get her to the damn hospital_.

The fall had ruptured the amniotic sac, requiring an emergency c-section. Her mom, Julia, holds her hand through the surgery, both of them crying. Rosa wants Gina there with her, desperately wants it, but she's with Emila and the squad and her other family.

Finally, the little girl is placed on her chest and Rosa begins to sob. Her mother wipes her face and whispers sweet nothings into her ear. It reminds both of them of a deeply darker time.

Now Rosa sits on the hospital bed, holding the brand new baby, Emila and Gina asleep next to her. They name their second daughter Juliana, a tribute to her mother- who had been there for both of them when they needed her.

"I love you baby," Gina had whispered before she fell asleep. "I'm happy you're okay."

⭐⭐⭐

After Juliana was born, no one spoke of having another baby in front of Rosa and Gina.

Both of them are too scared to even play with the idea again, after what had almost happened.

When Juliana is one, Amy gets pregnant. She tries to downplay it but everyone knows how happy she and Jake are. Gina and Rosa are happy for them too, they remember when Jake was still eating dry Ramen out of the plastic, it's a little heartwarming to see his development. They are going to be great parents.

They name their twin boys Charlie and Ryan, Gina guesses after Charles and Captain Holt, Rosa thinks that's about right for Amy.

Rosa appreciates Amy, who listened to pregnancy stories and wanted to take notes about her experience. And asked what having a c-section was like. Rosa was the most grateful Amy always ended their talks with, 'you're a great mom, Rosa.' It made her feel like the fall wasn't her fault.

When Emila is five and Juliana is two Gina mentions it again. "Rosa, I want another baby," she says quietly into the dark as they wash and dry dishes one night. They are in the kitchen alone, the girls in bed, and the house feeling all too still. 

"Okay."

"I don't want to upset you. I know having Juliana was hard for you but I feel like I was made to be a mom. Like your mom was." Gina takes Rosa's hand, kissing it softly.

That makes Rosa cry. Rosa doesn't cry much, never had, but after the pregnancy, and the fear, and being a mom she cries more often. She rubs her scar through her shirt, a permanent reminder of it all. "I'm not carrying."

Gina kisses her sweetly, a gentle promise, a reassurance. "I would never ask you to."

Rosa kisses her more intensely. "I love you, Gina. I love you so, so, much."

Gina has their baby a year later, carrying for a perfect nine months. They had a little boy who they named Daniel, with the biggest green eyes Rosa has ever seen. Rosa likes having a change from all the pink around their house. Tiny blue onesies were more her speed than the pink tutus and dresses Gina loved to put Emila and Juliana in.

⭐⭐⭐

"I want to quit my job." Gina says one morning to Rosa.

The kids were still asleep, which was a rarity, since the kids were little orbs of energy in human form. So they snuck onto the fire escape with mugs of coffee and each other's company. Their family was complete, they agreed. So why not, Rosa thought. "Why?" she asks anyways. 

"I want to be an influencer. Online. Make the G-hive blow up. I mean it's growing now but with devotion it could rise," she explains, twirling her hands about and nearly spilling scorching tea onto their thighs. "Let me get a promotion. Then you can."

Gina furrows her eyebrows. "Why?"

"I just want to make sure we'll be okay once you pursue your dream."

Gina moves toward Rosa, capturing her lips in her own. "I love you."

"I love you too."

⭐⭐⭐

"That's my wife!" Gina embarrassingly yells as Rosa stood on stage being promoted to Captain.

Gina is so proud of her wife, beyond proud, she though her heart would explode. It seemed like just yesterday Rosa was the mean girl she almost hooked up with at a high school party and yet here they were. Gina a media sensation, Rosa a police captain, three kids aged twelve, nine, and six. They had made it. There had been no destination when they blindly made out in the bedroom of a mutual, no destination when Gina caught herself falling for Rosa, no destination when they first really kissed on Rosa's roof and yet Gina felt like they had reached that destination. She was happy, she was full, and she was married to a police captain.

"That's my girl!" she yells again.

Daniel tugs on the sleeve of her dress. "Mommy, you're embarrassing Momma."

"I know, sweetheart," Gina says, ruffling his hair absently and beaming at Rosa who gave her a stern look but there happiness was in her eyes. "I know."

When the ceremony ends, Rosa walks over to her wife and kisses her before bending down to hug their kids. As they are driving around later that night, drinking milkshakes with the kids asleep in the backseat Rosa says: "I'm really glad it was you that I mixed my phone up with."

And Gina feels her heart flutter in her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank yall for reading all the way through. i appreciate yall.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope y'all enjoyed this and stick around for the rest!! comments and kudos fuel my soul so dont be afraid to hit those buttons <3


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